My ancestors are shaking their heads

 




After spending most of my day working on something I’ll call “The Legacy Project” I am feeling particularly sentimental. Pouring over the photos of relatives I’ve lost and some I never even met. I have scanned, cropped and uploaded until my vision became blurry,  and I’m not done. I’m grateful I’m not done because to be done, means I have no more. Each piece has brought me a little joy, so naturally I WANT MORE!  I am swimming in memories and emotions-the good kind,  and my heart is full-which is very rare these days. 

I am supposed to be reviewing grants, but I took a break to heat up a bowl of collard greens. I once again made them how I like them- with double the smoked Turkey necks so they’re a main, not side dish.  I used to always tell mom I was going to do that. She scoffed at the notion, so I never did, until this past year. My ancestors are standing together shaking their heads that I had the NERVE to once again make greens with no cornbread in an effort to be healthier. As if I didn’t eat a whole bag of jelly beans last night! 

Only four of the  the nine things on my weekend to do list got done, and I’m ok with that. The things that did get done were fun and fed my soul and God knows it needed to be fed. I was reminded in these past 48 hours just how important that is.  My “cloffice” project and paint priming will just have to wait until later.  I will not beat myself up for not vaccuming a car I rarely drive either.  I do regret not getting that office chair, because I just remembered that I sold my old one Friday.  

My theme for this week is “Be Present”. I realize how much I’ve been walking around in a haze of fatigue, anxiety and trauma. I’ve been on autopilot for so long, it’s a little scary to fly on manual, but I’m just gonna let it happen!!  

PS. I should have made the damn cornbread! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Storytime: I Almost Ruined My Belly Dancing Competition Experience

Image
Last February I went to a friends performance of "So you think you can Belly Dance?". I don't think I had ever seen authentic belly dancing at that point-not in person anyway. It was one of those things you see in the movies. I thought of it as flirtatious and provocative, kind of like burlesque or exotic dancing. It was DEFINITELY not something I ever saw myself doing in public! I had played around a little with the YOUTUBE videos during lock down, but it was in the comfort of my own living room. I was immediately surprised when I saw the opening scene at the competition that night. There were participants of all ages, body types and walks of life. The dances were flirtacious and fun and entertaining. The dancers inspired the audience to move and let go. Although there were some sensual moves, it wasn't risque or "seedy". My friend came out and not only rocked it, she won! (Yay Nina). It was then that she said something CRAZY-Alisha you should do the next ...
Read more

The History of Mandatory Positive

Image
Years ago I was a broke college student and single mother to an infant. At times life seemed overwhelming, impossible and hopeless. I felt like I would never graduate, and I was stuck in an endless cycle of working, writing papers, being a mom, taking care of home, and trying to not to get something shut off. I realized every time someone asked how things were going, I would have to fight hard not to cry, complain or pass out in exhaustion before I squeaked out “fine”   One day when my daughter was around three she saw me crying. She put her head in my lap and looked sad herself.  I realized if I continued to lean into that feeling of despair, she would grow up without a single moment of joy in her childhood. I made a vow at that moment to try to focus on any possible silver lining to the dark clouds that seemed to be my life-the “Mandatory Positive.”  As she became older, I challenged my daughter to identify the mandatory positive in bad situations. We continue to do so ...
Read more

Decluttering and Upcyling from Vintage Crystal Lamp to Apothecary Jar- Pintrest Success!

Image
Do you have stuff just taking up space in your house? I have spent this past year trying to minimize the clutter in my home. I have sold, given away and thrown away over 25% of my possessions.  One of the hardest things for me to discard has been my lead crystal collection. I have been a bit of a hoarder when it comes to lead crystal over the years. (See my Youtube video on this subject here: Confessions of a Hoarder .   I love crystal lamps, but given that I don't live in a mansion, 12+ lamps are not necessary.  As I tried to think about ways to repurpose my sparklies, I remembered seeing a video a while back about someone turning their vintage lamps into apothecary jars.  I thought I would try this out with one of my mine. I like how it turned out so I figured I'd share how I did it in case someone else wants to try. Step 1 :  I gathered up all the things necessary to for this project.  Paper to protect the surface scissors lamp knob ( I found this o...
Read more