From the Dirt 🌷

                 

I always loved tulips. My grandma used to have pink tulips that came up every year. I said I would have them someday if I ever bought a house.  I’m no green thumb, but I love that once you plant tulips, they come back every year.  

When we bought this house,  it was supposed to be a part of the less than five-year plan. We were going to have fun renovating-painting, laying new flooring. I like adventure and wanted to learn new things.  I spent hours looking through magazines and websites trying to figure out the things I wanted. A house full of color and interesting eclectic pieces.  I imagined we’d travel and I’d find little trinkets along the way. 

That life didn’t get to happen. It turns out, somehow I married someone who didn’t share my vision-or really care to even know what it was. I’d come home and randomly something would be painted with colors I never chose. Flooring was half-assed put down and if I said anything negative I was told I was ungrateful or materialistic. Soon I found myself buried in a house full of stuff I never wanted with a bunch of patched up projects I never even got to be a part of. 

I was never the outdoorsy type. I didn’t to the yard work or spend a lot of time sitting in it. My husband was dedicated to mowing the lawn and trimming the hedges.  As we drove around one day I saw these beautiful rounded hedges in a yard and commented how much I liked them and they seemed doable. He went home and cut ours into a boxy cut-opposite of what I said I liked. He said he like them thus way.  I said nothing, but resented it every time I pulled up to the house. 

After a couple of years I finally decided to adventure out and prepare to plant tulips. I researched and found out they had to be planted before the first frost. They were on sale and I bought over 50 bulbs and was excited for them to bloom in the spring. The winter came and went and I looked forward to seeing what would bloom. I had planted several varieties so they’d pop up at various times through the season.  One day before any tulips were due to pop up,  I was spring cleaning inside and my husband was outside tending to the yard. After several hours he announced he had dug up the flowerbeds of all the weeds and was going to get mulch. My heart sank. He had dug up and destroyed all of my tulip bulbs. I said he didn’t know what they were and thought they were weeds. Because they had been run through the lawn mower to be mulched, they were not salvageable. 

As the weeks passed I was sad watching the flowers bloom in the neighborhood. My tulips, my tribute to my grandmother, didn’t get to happen.  Although he apologized and I’m sure it really was an accident, I was still hurt. It seemed like everything I wanted was being pushed aside, dug up and destroyed. I was depressed, defeated and lost hope.......UNTIL... One day I noticed a single tulip had survived! Just like that, she slowly rose from the dirt and throughout the next several days she blossomed.  I took a photo, and looked at her as a symbol of hope.  She was me! 

That marriage has long since ended.  I have been pushed down, watched things be destroyed and die all around me, and even lost hope at times, but here I am! It might take a minute, it may be unexpected when it happens, but I am blooming. 🌷